98: Using Anger to Fuel Your Work

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

Hi everyone. Today I have a podcast episode on using anger to fuel your work. I like to preface my episodes usually with some background info, or telling you a little bit about what brought me to that topic. So today's topic- there are a number of things that came up for me this week, that I thought, well, if it's coming up for me, if it's coming up for the family, my friends, my colleagues, my students, then it's something I should talk about on the podcast.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

Something that has come up recently with checking in on folks is that I've noticed that a lot of people are struggling, and that, more specifically, a lot of people I've checked in with have been dealing with feelings of anger. What kind of anger? What are they angry at? Where is that coming from? When it comes to my friends, and for myself- I had one friend who was angry at something that happened for them at work. I had another friend who was kind of angry and feeling like they were lashing out because of parent overwhelm. For me, it's been similar- just feeling overwhelmed with the lack of childcare, and sometimes it manifesting in anger.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

Then when I think about the root behind the feeling of anger, anger is kind of a vehicle through which your body's communicating something to you. So when checking in with folks and realizing a lot of us are struggling, at the root of it, there's a lot of injustices. We're struggling because of lack of support for parents, struggling because- maybe you're a grad student and you're making below minimum wage on your grad student stipend. Or you're struggling because you're not getting the accommodations that you need, or you're struggling because you're dealing with so many microaggressions, macroaggressions from people. And all of that, understandably so makes you angry.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

It reminds me a lot of the work of Audre Lorde. Audre Lorde has a really famous essay- or speech that she gave at the National Women's Studies Association on the uses of anger. It was in 1981 that she gave that that speech. And that was a direct response to racism in the feminist movement. So this is not a new feeling, not a new kind of thought, of using your anger as a means to kind of fuel your work and fuel change. But I thought that it would be useful to remind you- or to introduce it to you, if you hadn't been introduced to the idea that you can use your anger productively, and to validate those emotions. Not every day you're going to be doing work from a place of joy. Not every day is going to be easy and seamless, and you're going to be able to get everything done on your to do list, or make it to every single thing that's on your calendar. That's just not reasonable.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

So I wanted to talk about anger today to remind you that you can use anger as a tool. You can use anger as a tool to identify a problem. What's going on for you right now that's making you angry? You can use it as a tool to identify injustice. What is happening to you, or to your loved ones, or in your surroundings that is unjust and making you angry? And to identify the different isms. Maybe you're angry at racism, at sexism, at classism, at ableism. The list goes on and on and on, of the different ways that you or your loved ones might be discriminated against or treated unfairly. Then think about that as like, how can you then use that as motivation to get work done, to promote change in some way, shape or form, even if it's in a small way?

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

Sometimes we're so angry that you can't even think about doing something productive, because you're so in that feeling. If that is happening to you, think about strategies of things that you can do to kind of get it out. Is there a listening partner that you can identify? Someone you can go to who is a safe person to you to kind of vent and let it out? Maybe that might be not a friend. Maybe that might be a therapist. Or can you journal? Or can you give yourself some space? Maybe you need to remove yourself from whatever it is that you're doing. Maybe if you're home, you could go on a walk, or you could take a shower, or you could take a short 20 minute nap. Something to help you kind of calm down. And then when you get back and you feel like you're a little more calm, you can be in that space where you can use it as a motivator.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

I think that a lot of us have had experiences where something has happened to us that made us angry, and then that fueled us to do something about it. When I think about an example, I think about for myself growing up in an LAUSD school that was under resourced, and where I had a lot of teachers who, frankly, did not believe in us. I distinctly remember having a high school science teacher- this is probably one of the reasons I struggled and didn't like science. This science teacher, instead of teaching us, she would spend that time putting us down. She would tell us that in five to ten years, we were all either going to be pregnant, incarcerated, or dead. That was what she thought about us.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

So for me, I felt like- I'm going to prove this person wrong. Not only am I going to not do all the things that she said, but I'm gonna go to college, and get a career, etc. But that was initially in high school one of the fuels, one of the things that motivated me to prove her wrong- to go to college and get a formal education. But I know that happens to other folks too, and it continues to happen. I remember having a student who was a transfer student, and one of the first professors that he had told him that there was no way he could ever get into a PhD program, that it was impossible, that it wasn't gonna happen. Why waste his time?

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

I remember him coming to my office so angry and so upset. And me reminding him, that's just one person's opinion. That means nothing. That's probably them. It's probably a personal thing on them. They might be projecting things onto you, their own thoughts. It has nothing to do with you. If you want to go to grad school, you can certainly do it. You have my support. And guess what? Not only did he go to grad school, he actually got into a Ph.D program while -he applied his senior year. I mean, what he accomplished from being a transfer student and having that happen right away his first quarter, to then a year later applying to PhD programs, getting into programs, getting fully funded, moving out of state and now doing very well. That's huge. But that was one of the fuels. That was one of the motivators- proving that person wrong.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

I think the other thing that helps is sometimes we feel angry and it can be used as a means to build community. I remember when I was in grad school starting the mothers of color in academia group. I was one of the founding members. And when we started that group, we started it- a good portion of it was out of anger. I was angry that I had to take the bus to campus, lug around my pump parts and have to pump milk, and not have a place to leave my things, having to carry it everywhere. And not having time in between work and classes and all that to pump milk for my baby, and not being able to find a place on campus to buy a milk bag if I ran out. Just feeling like the infrastructure of the university was not set up to support me. Or realizing how inaccessible a campus was- bringing a stroller and not being able to get around easily, or being pregnant third trimester, I can hardly walk and realizing oh my gosh. There's so many hills. There's so many stairs. I can't get from point A to point B.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

That was fuel to my fire to my anger, of like we need to do something about it. We need to get up and take action and protest and insist that the univeristy do something to better support parenting students. So we used anger as a means to build community. This is not going to be a long, long episode. But what I really want you to get at when it comes to anger is if you're feeling angry, if you're struggling today, you're not alone. Give yourself some time and space. Do something to help yourself out- whether that's journaling, talking to a friend, taking a shower, a nap, a walk.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

And then, how can you use it to get to work? How can you use your anger productively? I think that's all I'll say for today. I was actually feeling pretty angry this morning, too. I'm starting to calm down a little bit more. But I just want to remind you all that it's completely understandable. We are human and we have all types of emotions. You know, a lot of times you hear me, and I might be giggling on the podcast, or seem like I'm in a good mood. That's because I wait untill the afternoons to do my recordings, because in the mornings I feel sick. Or I want to be able to give my best self. But in actuality, in reflecting on that, I'm like- actually, I should share more of my full self. Because the more I can be my full self, probably more people will be able to relate. So I was feeling angry this morning. Some of my friends were feeling angry this morning. Checking in on other people, a lot of us are struggling. If that's the case, use it. Use it as your fuel. Use it as a means to get from point A to point B. Find support, build community, and you'll get through it. Thank you all for listening. I will talk to you all next time.