54: Awkward Academic Calendar “Breaks”: On Nourishing Yourself

Dra. Yvette Martínez-Vu

Hi everyone. I decided to record a bonus episode. I wasn't going to publish anything for this week, because I wasn't able to get something in on time. But then I was trying to plan for my upcoming episodes, and I made the ask on my Instagram for episode suggestions. One of the suggestions was breaks during grad school that are productive.

Dra. Yvette Martínez-Vu

And I was thinking about that idea, that concept of breaks during the academic calendar. I think what this individual was referring to were spring break, winter break, summer break. So if you're a student, whether you're an undergrad or grad student, what do you do during your break, so that it is "productive?" And I say, quote, unquote, productive because I have a lot of mixed feelings with regard to that term, productivity.

Dra. Yvette Martínez-Vu

If you've been listening to my podcast, you can probably get a sense that I grew up having very perfectionistic tendencies and being referred to as a workaholic. I've tried to work on those things, so that I can learn to value myself outside of that capitalistic notion of productivity, so that I can also value myself without needing to get work done, and still, you know, prioritize rest and take care of myself. That's one of the ways that I'm able to manage my chronic illness.

Dra. Yvette Martínez-Vu

But it's interesting, because I think that this idea of what do you do during your break time, is something that we don't talk about enough in academia. I am going to call this episode Awkward Academic Calendar "Breaks," because I do think it can be awkward, especially in academic spaces, to overshare what we're doing over the break times.

Dra. Yvette Martínez-Vu

I recall as an undergrad, and as a grad student. There were a lot of mixed reviews and mixed conversations that came up when we talked about breaks. One thing that came up- I remember when I was an undergrad, this was a big reality check for me, a big culture shock, realizing, wow. People actually take vacations during breaks, like people actually travel and go sailing and have money to do these leisurely things. For me, break time was never a break. Break time was always help out your family. Break time always meant doing work, but different types of work, whether that was domestic labor, or helping out my mom. But it was never truly a quote unquote, break.

Dra. Yvette Martínez-Vu

Then in grad school, breaks for me, at least in my experience, were awkward because we weren't allowed to talk about taking time off. I remember, the first time I had this desire to set an away message on my email to say that I was going to take a few days off and put an away message so that way, certain professors who I knew expected quick replies would know that I wasn't going to get back to them for a few days. I remember I mentioned it to my advisor at the time. And he was one of multiple people. He wasn't the only one. Multiple people that told me that that's frowned upon, to use in a way message was frowned upon, because some individuals would look down on me and would think that I wasn't committed enough to my research and that I needed to be working all the time, and that it could just make me look bad to have an away message.

Dra. Yvette Martínez-Vu

And then when I became a staff member and started working full time, I realized, wow. There's this whole other world of higher education, of Student Affairs, and staff that folks that openly have away messages, where it's socially acceptable to take time off. That's why you have sick and vacation time, and you put an away message so people know that you'll get back to them as soon as you return from your break. So yes, it can be awkward. It can be awkward, depending on what stage you're at with regard to higher education, and what spaces and conversations you're a part of.

Dra. Yvette Martínez-Vu

But going back to this idea of productivity- I don't really want to say you should try to aim to be productive. I think you should try to aim to be nourished. And what do I mean by nourished? I mean nourishing your mind, body and soul. How can you take advantage of this break time so that you can do the things that will benefit you the most?

Dra. Yvette Martínez-Vu

That will be different for every single individual. For some of us, it's rest. If you've been going through finals, you've been having some sleepless nights, you've been feeling overwhelmed and stressed, it would be nice to be able to rest, to be able to take time off while you to do nothing. And I mean, nothing- not even domestic tasks. Nada- just rest. That to me is luxurious, because I rarely ever give myself the opportunity to truly rest.

Dra. Yvette Martínez-Vu

So resting is one thing. But it's never a bad thing, because resting allows you to sustain yourself. If you keep working yourself, you could literally work yourself to death. You could just work, work, work, then get very ill, and work yourself to death. Resting is important for your own long term sustainability, so that you don't get burnt out, so that you don't end up quitting whatever it is that you're doing, especially if whatever it is that you're doing is something that you value and you enjoy. So resting is one thing.

Dra. Yvette Martínez-Vu

Another thing that you can do is catch up on those things that maybe you've been leaving or pushing to the side, because you've been so busy with your other labor. By that I mean, maybe this is the time for you to catch up on domestic labor, on chores, on things that you maybe haven't had a chance to do because you've been so busy. So maybe you're like, I've always wanted to clean out that drawer, or I've always wanted to reorganize my workspace. Or I've always wanted to fully clean out my closet, whatever it is.

Dra. Yvette Martínez-Vu

Domestic labor is still labor. It's still things that need to get done. And if it will help you if it will benefit you, if it will nourish you- if after you're done tidying up your space, you look at it and you're like wow. I'm really going to enjoy my workspace a lot more now that I have x, y and z, now that I've cleaned up, now that I've reorganized, then go ahead and do that. If you're only going to further stress yourself out at the thought of cleaning, reorganizing, whatever it is that you're doing at home, then maybe don't do it. Maybe find another time to do that. Maybe now is not the right time.

Dra. Yvette Martínez-Vu

Another thing that I've noticed that a lot of folks have been doing that I think is actually a great thing and definitely nourishing is I think the pandemic has allowed a lot of people to pick up new hobbies. That's great. You are an individual. You are more than just the work that you do nine to five. You're more than just the work that you do in academia. You're a whole ass individual. I mean, you have multiple identities. You are multitudes. And so of course, why not pick up one or two or multiple hobbies?

Dra. Yvette Martínez-Vu

At least within my scope of friends, I know that I've seen a lot of people pick up baking and cooking and hiking and yoga and biking and reading for fun. There's just so much that you can do when it comes to hobbies, and not all of them require you having to pay money. I'm not a big fan of doing anything that requires a lot of your own money, because it's just not necessary. You shouldn't have to necessarily pay money to nourish yourself. If it helps you and you have the money to spend, go ahead.

Dra. Yvette Martínez-Vu

But I know with a lot of my students, they are low income or they are working class. They don't have a lot of discretionary funds that they can just use on whatever. And even myself, even though I am a salaried employee, I do have a set budget. I still have very much a working class sensibility. I don't really spending a ton of money on things. I try to minimize my costs and do things that nourish me that don't necessarily require a ton of money. I just don't think it's necessary. And if it were up to me, I would live a more minimalistic life.

Dra. Yvette Martínez-Vu

I know my partner makes fun of me, because he says if it were up to you, you would live in an empty home. And he makes fun of me because I was that person that followed Marie Kondo. He was like, yes- there was this one meme of Marie Kondo's ideal home and it was literally an empty room. There was nothing on there. And he's like, yep, that's you. But you don't need a lot. You don't need a lot to to nourish yourself. It's just about identifying the things that will help you have an enjoyable break time. And that's the thing.

Dra. Yvette Martínez-Vu

Now, I feel much less guilty- I do sometimes feel guilty when I take time off, but much less than before. As an undergrad and as a graduate student, I experienced so much guilt. I don't know if part of it was being raised Catholic, and you just always carry guilt with you, being raised with these particular gender roles and expectations and cultural expectations of the work that you're supposed to do as a mujer. I'm not exactly sure where all of that guilt came from. But I felt really bad, and I was constantly thinking that whenever I would take a day off, I should be working. I should be writing. I should be answering emails. I should be doing this and this and this. I'd keep my phone on, and I'd check my emails. I was that person always on top of things and always responding right away. And it was toxic for me. I stressed myself out. And part of it was yes, certain individuals that I worked with did require that I respond to their needs 24/7, at all hours of the day. But the other part of it was that I allowed it, that I didn't set boundaries.

Dra. Yvette Martínez-Vu

So what is it that you need to do to allow yourself to take a break and do it guilt free? Does it mean communicating your boundaries? Does it mean setting an away message? You don't even necessarily- that's the thing. If you are in a situation much like mine, where the professors and mentors around me were telling me no, don't include an away message. That's gonna make you look bad. You don't have a responsibility to necessarily have to communicate your plans with the whole world. You can always front load your work, everything that you maybe are expected to get done during this break, get it done earlier. Do it early. So that then you can take that break.

Dra. Yvette Martínez-Vu

Maybe you do check emails, but not all day, 24 hours a day, maybe. You have a set time, like maybe I'm going to take a break so I'm only going to check emails every 48 hours, and I'm only going to do it during this one time. Then whatever I check is whatever I check. Whatever I get to is whatever I get to. Then everything else, I will respond when I get back. You know what I mean? You can set your own plans. You can set your own policies. It is really empowering once you start to realize that you do have control over your own schedule. You do have control over your boundaries, and how you communicate with others, and what you get to do with your life.

Dra. Yvette Martínez-Vu

Break time I think is a great opportunity to reflect on those things, to reflect on your habits, to plan, to organize, to figure out - this is part of your lifestyle. What's gonna work for you long term, or what's gonna work for you right now for the next couple of years while you get through undergrad, while you get through grad school? But these academic calendar breaks- you know, sometimes I didn't even truly enjoy them because of that guilt. And because of the awkward conversations that I would have with friends, with family, with colleagues.

Dra. Yvette Martínez-Vu

I remember when folks would find out that I had a break, they're like, oh, yeah. You're coming up on spring break. That means you can come see me, that means you can come to this. You can come help me out with that. And sometimes break times for me, I got so consumed with making plans, with doing things, whether it was a family gathering or a birthday party or a play date or hanging out with a friend or whatever. At the end of that break time, I had made so many plans and done so many things that I wasn't even fully enjoying myself. At the end of that quote unquote, break, I was just as exhausted, if not more.

Dra. Yvette Martínez-Vu

So I would say if there's one thing I want to tell all of you, including the individual has suggested this episode, it's just try to be as intentional as possible with how you want to use your break time in a way that nourishes you. Just try it out. Try out different things during different breaks. Then let me know what works, because I'm always curious what works for some folks. I'll let you know, at least for me- and again, you are not all like me. But for me, what works is a combination of both front loading work, then resting, and then doing a little bit of the domestic labor and a little bit of the hobbies. So a combination of all those things I mentioned. Then over planning, just not having this long list of things to do, because otherwise I'm going to disappoint myself if I don't get them all done. And then if I do get them all done, I might just exhausted myself. So finding a balance and doing a number of different things that nourish me, that's what helps me out. I hope you found this helpful, and I will talk to you all next time.