358: How to Finish an Incomplete in Grad School While Still Managing Everything Else

358: How to Finish an Incomplete in Grad School While Still Managing Everything Else

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[00:00:00] You are in grad school while working and while managing health conditions that require you to be very careful with your time and energy. You plan, you do your best to get the work done, but then something changes. Your capacity shifts in ways you didn't expect. Maybe you get a bad flare up, maybe a family emergency comes up, or maybe your energy is consistently low and assignments slowly start to accumulate.

Deadlines start to pass by. You realize that finishing everything by the end of the term will not happen. There is literally not enough time. So an incomplete becomes part of the conversation. If no one has explained to you what it means to have an incomplete or how to navigate that, this [00:01:00] episode is for you.

Welcome to the award-winning Grad School Femtoring podcast.

The place for first gen BIPOCs to listen in on inclusive grad school stories and learn about personal development and productivity tips. This is Doctora Yvette Martinez Vu, a certified coach, consultant and author, and I will be serving as your femtor, providing you with insider knowledge to help you reach your personal and professional goals.

Welcome back everyone to another episode of the Grad School Femtoring podcast. This is your host, Doctora Yvette. Today we are tackling the topic of how to finish an incomplete [00:02:00] in grad school when you're still try to manage everything else. So how do we get that thing done? Let's start by talking about what an incomplete even is, and what are the circumstances that often lead to students having incompletes?

First, I want to say that an incomplete means that you were making satisfactory progress in a course, but due to. Very specific circumstances that only you know about, you weren't able to finish all of the required work by the end of the term, so by the end of the quarter or the semester, and the professor, the instructor, has agreed to you completing the work at a later time.

That's all it is. And incomplete is not a fail on your transcript. It doesn't mean that you're a bad student. It doesn't mean that you can't cut [00:03:00] it. It doesn't mean all these things that we tell ourselves in our head because of the guilt and shame that comes with having an incomplete. It just means you needed extra time to complete the required assignments for a course, and the professor is willing to offer that.

There are so many reasons why incompletes come up. And a lot of times it's because everything that's involved in completing a course, the learning, the researching, the writing, that plus your life circumstances, you might be working, you might be dealing with health stuff, you might be dealing with a bunch of family commitments, all that stuff doesn't always neatly fit into what's expected for you to do and when it's expected to get done. So I just wanna remind you that sometimes life doesn't quite fit into rigid academic timelines, and that can lead to you having an incomplete.

When I [00:04:00] talk about the reasons for having an incomplete, I wanna get into some of the nitty gritty details of that too, because sometimes an incomplete, it's less about you and more about the course. So sometimes incompletes result from the research projects taking longer than anticipated. Maybe it's a writing heavy course and there's a lot of deliverables and they are due all at once for multiple classes, so it makes it nearly impossible to get it done.

Sometimes you have to completely shift directions, so you've been working on one topic for a course, and then by the end of the course you've shifted gears and you have to start all over. Or again, sometimes you just have so many conflicting deadlines with other courses that stacked up at the same time that makes it really, really hard to keep up. So there's a lot of academic reasons why you might have an incomplete. There's also health and capacity related reasons, and this comes up a lot for the clients that I work [00:05:00] with who tend to have chronic conditions, or they might be neurodivergent or a combination of the two. Chronic illness, flare-ups come up a lot. Disability related access, barriers come up a lot. Sometimes you're just dealing with an overload, so the executive functioning skills aren't where they need to be because of your overload. You are doing too much that is really hard for you to manage at once. Or sometimes you're starting the semester already completely burnt out from previous commitments, and so you're starting at burnout, which makes it really, really hard to stay on top of things.

And then let's add to that. Let's say you're first gen, or let's say you're a student of color, then you're dealing with additional structural issues. So you might be dealing with more caregiving responsibilities, more family obligations than everyone around you. You might have way more financial stress. You might be working a full-time job or multiple [00:06:00] part-time jobs to make things work while taking your coursework, you might be dealing with very unclear expectations and working with faculty whose syllabi are completely messy and unclear, and they just assume that you know what you're supposed to do. Yes, that happens. It's very frustrating.

Or you might be dealing with the often racialized and gendered pressure to overperform or overcompensate for the fear of not wanting to seem uncommitted or incompetent. So again, there's a lot of different reasons why you might be listening to this episode and thinking, yep, I am in those shoes and I need to figure out how to get this done, how to get it knocked out, because I don't want it hanging over my shoulder for any longer.

So before I get into the strategies for how to get this [00:07:00] done, I also wanna recognize the psychological toll that an incomplete can take on you, because a lot of times with having an incomplete, it's really common to feel shame, and that shame builds up over time. Then that shame and that guilt will lead to avoidance, and again, that will creep up over time.

And then you find yourself starting a new semester or a new quarter with more coursework, new classes, new deadlines, new expectations, all the things, and you still have that incomplete over your shoulder, which adds an additional mental and emotional strain because all of a sudden, even when you're not working on it, you're thinking about it and it's always hanging there. It's always on the side. It's always looming and creeping up, and so you can't even sit still because you're always thinking about, oh, I need to get that thing done.

So with the [00:08:00] shame, with the guilt, with the emotional toll and then on top of that, add that the avoidance, because it's really easy to avoid it when you've got other courses and deadlines showing up in your face where you have that accountability.

You have to show up to class. You are seeing classmates, you are meeting with professors at office hours. Again, it's really easy to let that thing go because it doesn't feel as urgent as your current classes.

And if you find yourself relating to this, I hope that you can start to shift from the negative self-talk or from thinking, oh my gosh, why haven't I finished this? Oh, why did I put myself in this situation? Oh no, I still have to deal with this thing. To shifting the questions around, well, what are the conditions that I need to get this done? What would make it safer for me to get this done? What would make it more realistic for me to get back to it? What can I do to simply touch it again? [00:09:00] Like, so what do you need to get back on setting up a plan and being on track to getting it done by a new deadline. So that's what we're gonna transition to next, is like what are the things, the circumstances, the strategies that are gonna help you to get it done.

First off, you have to figure out where you are. So you have to figure out your load. And to do that, you need to ask yourself, okay, what do I have on my plate right now? How many courses am I taking? Where is my energy going each week? What is completely non-negotiable? And what are the things on my plate that I have more flexibility or where I could potentially delegate or do less or let it go?

And after you feel more grounded in your current load, I wanna encourage you to choose one small weekly block of time that [00:10:00] you can commit to work on the incomplete. I also want you to, based on the things that are flexible, let go of non-essential commitments because this is gonna take time.

And every time you're doing this, you're taking time away from something else. So you need to figure out what that something else is. And then another really helpful thing is to readjust your expectations around what good enough looks like, because sometimes there's so much shame around, oh my gosh, I didn't get this thing done that you feel like what you do turn in has to be perfect. It has to be polished, and I wanna remind you that perfectionism is not gonna get you anywhere, or at least it's not gonna get you that far. It has served a purpose, but in this case it could hold you back. So figure out what does good enough look like for you to have a pass? What does good enough look like for you to submit something and get it done and not have it incomplete? [00:11:00] So make sure that you figure out what your load is and that you protect your capacity by reducing some things and figuring out the good enough work.

If you've been feeling stuck, scattered, or like that big project you have to get done this semester keeps getting pushed to the side. Then I wanna invite you to my next retreat. This March 20th and 21st, I'm hosting my next Compassionate Accountability Retreat. It's a virtual small group space designed to help you make meaningful progress on a long-term project without any unnecessary guilt or shame.

You'll gain access to structured work time alongside other first gen grad students and professionals. Whether you're drafting a manuscript, working on a conference presentation, polishing application materials, or returning to a creative project, this retreat is about making [00:12:00] time for the work that matters most right now.

As a podcast listener, you can take advantage of the early bird discount and receive 20% off of your registration. Just use the code EARLYBIRD26 at checkout. This rate is available through February 21st, and the retreat is intentionally capped at 12 participants with several spots already filled. You can learn more and register at gradschoolfemtoring.com/retreats, or at the link in the show notes.

After that. You need some clarity around your expectations and around your deadlines. This is another really common reason why folks will not tackle incomplete is that there's way too much ambiguity and then they are embarrassed to go and ask the professor for more details because they think, oh, I should know this by now. They might not know what the final firm deadline is. They [00:13:00] might not have all the details around deliverables and what the expectations are for what to submit. So requirements are unclear. And if that's the case, I want you to figure out, okay, what is the official deadline for finishing this incomplete? And you could even ask yourself, do they want to see material early? Or is this professor gonna be providing ongoing feedback? Or am I just submitting one thing at the end, or multiple assignments at once at the end? So figure out what does the completion process look like? Is it through multiple drafts? Is it just one thing you submit at the end and then figure out what are the hard deadlines and are there any flexible deadlines around what happens if you don't meet this next deadline?

So what are the options that you haveif more time is needed [00:14:00] beyond this next deadline. You need clarity. Not ambiguity so that it can help you to reduce your confusion and your anxiety around what to do, and it helps you to stop avoiding the work altogether because of the fear of doing the wrong thing, because you know exactly what it is that you're expected to do.

Next, I want you to figure out, again, going back to the good enough work. What is the minimum required work necessary for this to earn me a passable grade? And what even is a passable grade? Every grad program is different. Is this a B minus, a B, a B plus? And I say B, 'cause usually it's within the B range.

For grad students, that's passable. C's don't count in grad school. At least that's been my experience, the experience of several people that I've worked with. [00:15:00] So usually it's within the B range, but figure out what is the passable grade? 'cause that's what you're working toward. We're not working toward A plus because you might not have the capacity for A plus material if you do.

Great. Go ahead. But if you don't, because you have so much else going on, and probably those are the reasons that led to the incomplete to begin with, then we wanna aim for good enough and figure out what does complete mean for the professor. Is it revisions on a paper? And if so, is it one set of revisions? Is it multiple set of revisions? , Do they expect you to complete a draft that is very polished, or if not, at what point is it enough for them to accept it? And what can you let go of? Because again, you might be trying to do all the things, but right now we need to focus on what is essential to turn in?

We're not focusing on A plus material, we're we're focusing on [00:16:00] good enough, which might be in the B range. I also wanna share a couple of strategies that some of my clients have been using to help them with finishing their incompletes. Again, if you don't know already, I work with grad students, I work with college students applying to grad school.

I work with graduate students, helping them to get through their graduate programs and I work with them in a one-on-one capacity. I also work with them in a group capacity, so a few of my clients do have incompletes and they're working on getting those done. And so one of the things that most of them are doing is they are dedicating a concentrated block of time each week to finish most of that material.

So this might mean one or two focused weekends. This might mean taking a short break from obligations, so I know that some folks I work with have full-time jobs, so they might [00:17:00] take a sick day or a vacation day to just use that day to work on the incomplete. They might attend co-working sessions, virtual or in-person, or they might even attend a retreat where they try to knock a good amount of this work done and I've even had folks show up to my retreats, my compassionate accountability retreat to get some of this work done. And by the way, I have a compassionate accountability retreat coming up that I'm hosting in March. So if you wanna check it out, feel free to check it out in the link in the show notes to learn more.

But the point is you want a concentrated block of time, and why does this work? Because sustained focus in a protected environment works better than trying to stretch out the work across multiple fragmented weeks. So trying to get it done in a concentrated block of time instead of one or two hours every now and then can help you make more progress.[00:18:00]

Another strategy that some of my clients are using is they have asked if they can take an independent study or if they can take a related course during the time they're getting it done. Why is this a great strategy? Because it allows you to work with a professor to get credit to do some of the work for the incomplete, and by some of the work it might mean incorporating some of the same readings.

It might mean working on a project with some overlapping material or even aligning a seminar paper with a similar topic. And if you are thinking right now, hold up, hold up that. Is that cheating? No, it's not. It's being strategic because instead of doing extra labor, this is a way for you to better get to know the material because again, you're assigning similar material in this course.

You are [00:19:00] getting the accountability that you need by meeting with a professor regularly, on said project or on said topics. So I'm not telling you to complete the exact same assignment for the incomplete as for the independent study, but I'm just saying you can have some strategic overlap. This actually reminds me of when I would advise McNair Scholars when I directed a McNair program, we would often encourage the scholars to work on the same undergraduate thesis topic as their departmental honors project, or if they were taking a research methods course to try to make sure the readings that they were working on, or the final project that they worked on, that it aligned with their senior thesis.

This helped them to then have more dedicated time to work on their project and to become experts in that topic. So it's being [00:20:00] strategic. I'm not asking you to cheat. I am not a fan of cheating. I'm a fan of finding ways to do the work that you need to do with extra support and accountability.

Another thing this is an option if it's possible for you, it's not always possible for everyone, but if you have the means to do it, if your institution, your program, and if it's feasibly possible for you financially, I recommend taking a lighter course load while finishing the incompletes. Again, this is another protective strategy.

I say this to my undergrads the semester or quarter they apply to grad school, I say, can you take. Fewer courses. Can you take a lighter load? Can you take an independent study? Like what can you do to lighten your load because you're gonna need to dedicate extra time for your grad school applications. So to make that time, you might take one fewer class this term, or you might [00:21:00] shift your enrollment status. Of course, anytime you make any decisions like this, please, please, please ask how it might impact funding timelines, requirements.

You need to be clear about that before you make this decision. But if it's an option, please, please, give yourself some grace. Give yourself some extra time, and take that, take that lighter load.

And another, I think this is the last strategy I'm gonna share today is the strategy of making sure you surround yourself with several different forms of external accountability. This is true for any major project, but it's also true for getting this incomplete done. I don't want you to try to do this on your own. We're already so hard on ourselves. So it's more effective if you provide yourself with adequate support systems that can look like a study buddy, someone that you body double with, [00:22:00] coworking, having some sort of working group, writing group that you meet with regularly to work on this.

It might mean a weekly or biweekly check-in with a peer, with a mentor, with a coach like my clients who meet with me to get this done. It might also mean weekly or monthly check-in with a professor who taught the course. Yes, some professors are willing to do that with you so that you can get it done.

And this is about reminding you that relational accountability works better than relying on yourself to get it done, so provide yourself with the support that you need. Before I close things up today, I want to leave you with a quick checklist for getting this done.

First, remember to review your incomplete and clarify the exact requirements and deadline. Find out if there's any flexibility with the deadline too, so that you know what you're [00:23:00] working with. Decide what complete realistically looks like. What does good enough look like for the incomplete? Identify one or more protected weekly time blocks or set yourself up with a concentrated work period that might be a retreat or something else to get the bulk of the work done. Reduce any other obligations where it's possible to protect your capacity and make time for it. And make sure you set yourself up with external forms of accountability and support systems.

Of course, the last thing I'm gonna say is begin with a tiny, tiny baby step just so you can start with a quick win and then keep going, maintain that momentum, and before you know it, you'll have it done. All right, so that's it for today. Remember that an incomplete is not something you need to feel [00:24:00] guilty over.

It's not something you have to redeem yourself from. It means you're human. It means that things came up for you and it means that you may need a little bit of extra support and a lot more grace. So give yourself that grace and that's it. Mucha suerte. As always, I will talk to you all next time.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu: Thanks so much for listening. If you liked what you heard, here are three ways you can support the show. The first is to make sure you're subscribed and leave a review on Apple Podcasts. The second way is to get your copy of my free resource kit linked in my show notes. This kit includes tools, playlists on all things grad school, productivity, and personal development.

The third way to support my show is to follow me on social media. You can find me on Instagram with the handle at gradschoolfemtoring and on LinkedIn by searching my name. [00:25:00] Thanks again for listening. And until next time.