333: How to Set Goals You’ll Actually Keep

333: How to Set Goals You’ll Actually Keep

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Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu: [00:00:00] I know that the start of the semester is approaching because several of my one-on-one grad student coaching clients have asked that We set up a coaching session to help them plan their semester, and it got me thinking about. Goal setting. Many people have asked me over the years because they assume that I'm super organized and that I have my stuff together.

They ask me how do I do my goal setting? How do I make sure that I reach my goals? And I will say this. I don't have a perfect system. I've actually tested out multiple things and I'm constantly iterating on how I do my goal setting. But this year I did things a little bit differently and I want to share a little bit more about my approach to setting goals that you'll actually keep.

And I'm [00:01:00] sharing it with my clients. I'm also gonna be sharing it with you today on the episode, and I am also going to send you an invitation because I want us to do this work together live. So tune in to learn more about my approach to setting goals that you'll actually keep and you'll want to listen in to the end because if you want to meet me and join me for a public workshop, you're gonna get a special, loyal podcast listener discount code.

So that we can hang out together later this month.

Welcome to the award-winning grad school Femtoring podcast. The place for first gen Bipoc to listen in on inclusive grad school stories and learn about personal development and productivity tips. This is Yvette Martinez Vu, a certified coach, consultant and author, and I will be serving as your [00:02:00] Femtoring, providing you with insider knowledge to help you reach your personal and professional goals.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu: Welcome back everyone to another episode of the Grad School Femtoring podcast. This is your host Doctora. Yvette. I'm recording this episode in mid August. Yes. I'm recording it very soon to when I'm releasing the episode. Why, because. Well, a lot of reasons.

I have some backlogged episodes and then I also, every now and then do some more timely episodes where I record on topics that are coming up at the moment. And so because it's the start of the semester for a lot of my clients, and even for folks on the quarter system, they're already thinking about how they're planning for the start of the quarter.

I thought this would be an appropriate time to record an [00:03:00] episode on goal setting. I've been thinking a lot about the topic and when things come up and I think a lot about something, I get this desire to want to share it on the podcast. So here we go. Let's talk about it.

So what am I gonna be sharing in the episode? First, I'm gonna be talking about why traditional methods of goal setting often don't work for us. And by us I mean those of us that are first gen. Those of us that are part of the global majority, those of us that are neurodivergent, those that are of us that are disabled, those of us that are non-traditional caregivers, et cetera, I'm also gonna be talking about how to reframe your goals so that way they feel meaningful to you and actually doable so that they align with your capacity.

I'm also gonna be introducing you to a very simple, layered approach to planning your goals so that you can see it from the big picture down to your weekly [00:04:00] action steps. So from the macro to the micro. And I'm also going to invite you to take a very small action steps so that you can get started and apply what you're learning today.

And of course, at the end, I mentioned earlier I am gonna be offering a public workshop. I rarely do these and I'm always wondering if it's worth doing them, but you know what? Even if I don't get the financial ROI for it, and even though I do have a limited capacity, I thought I would do this offering an ofrenda for my community, especially for my loyal podcast listeners.

I want to meet you all, and this is a great opportunity for you to be in a shared virtual space with me, so I'll be inviting you. To my upcoming goal setting workshop that's happening this month, at the end of the month. So tune in so you can hear more details. Get your special discount code and join me.

So let's start with why traditional goal [00:05:00] setting fails us and fails our communities. A lot of the mainstream advice tied to productivity always assumes that you have an abundance of time. Of resources of energy. A lot of time it's devoid of context and current events and it doesn't think about all those of us that have intersectional identities, those of us that have identities at multiple sites of oppression, and that can make it a lot more challenging to follow the traditional advice because it just wasn't intended for someone like you or like me. And again, if you are first gen, odds are you're probably navigating new systems, spaces that feel unfamiliar to you. You might be feeling pretty isolated. You might be the only one or one of you in your [00:06:00] department if you're a person of color, you might be in environments that don't see you fully that don't value you fully, that don't acknowledge your assets and your strengths, and that can also impact your confidence and impact your ability to set goals and thrive. And then of course, if you're neurodivergent, if you're disabled, the way that you think, the way that you do things, your rhythms, your focus, your needs, they might be different from what's expected when folks are telling you to set goals and reach those goals in your program, in your department, in your workplace, et cetera.

So. It doesn't quite work for us. And if that doesn't work, then what can you do? And one thing that I wanna introduce you to, and as always, I always give a warning about my advice, my suggestions, my insights, [00:07:00] that there is no cookie cutter approach, even though I'm introducing you to a way to reframe your goal setting, it might still not work for you because I don't know who you are. I don't know all of your exact circumstances. I don't know all of your identities. I don't know all about your capacity, but for those that this might work for, then it's worthwhile. So if I can get a few of you to incorporate this reframing and to find value in it, that alone is success for me.

So let's have you rethink your goals, not through the lens of what others expect you to do, but through the lens of your values and through the lens of your capacity. That's how I've been doing my goal setting, and especially this year, I've been more consistent with it and it has helped me to even own my greatness.

Someone told me recently that they noticed a shift in how I show up. A [00:08:00] shift in my demeanor, in my self-confidence in how I talk about myself. And I do think that it's tied to consistently, pursuing goals that are values aligned and doing things in ways that honor my capacity. So I'm way better at setting and maintaining my boundaries than I ever was before.

'cause I have that clarity in my goals and in what I, I'm doing day to day to meet those goals. So for you, before you decide what you need to do, you first need to ask yourself, well, why am I even doing this? And do these goals align with what matter most to me right now? And also, do I have the time?

Do I have the energy? Do I have the resources I need to work toward this goal without sacrificing my wellbeing? So you want to align not just your goals and your milestones with [00:09:00] doing what you have to do to get it done. You want to take a look at the bigger picture and think, well, why am I even doing this to begin with?

How is it in alignment with my values? Especially if you're feeling stuck or if you're feeling lost. It's good to remember your why and sometimes your why might change, and that means that you might need to change what you're doing. So again, so think about your values. What are your core values and how does what you're doing and pursuing right now align with it?

Or not. And if not, what do you need to change so that it does align with it? And same with your capacity. Do I have the energy, the time, the resources to work toward this goal? You might need more support. You might need more resources. You might need more check-ins with your advisor. With your supervisor, and that doesn't make you any less of a person.

That just means that you need to advocate for yourself more. [00:10:00] And again, I work with a lot of individuals who work with me because they feel seen and heard in their multiple identities. They're people of color. I work with a lot of Latine individuals in particular. they are first gen, they are caregivers.

They have health conditions, chronic health issues. They, a lot of them are also neurodivergent and sometimes they suspect that they're neurodivergent. And so they come to me and they recognize I don't have the same time and energy as those around me. So then something's gotta give. And in our sessions we can help them to identify where, where are the places where I can let go of some things?

Where are some places where I can do good enough work? Because if I don't have enough time and energy for this, I don't wanna deplete myself. And or flare myself up and or make myself worse as a result of it. So [00:11:00] I want you to start here. I want you to start with your values, start with your capacity, and then you can go into the more detailed goal setting.

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Together we can co-create action plans that center your lived experience, your capacity, and your long-term goals. Whether you need help with time management. Confidence building motivation or big picture career decisions. I've got you. Clients I've worked with have passed their qualifying exams, finished and defended their dissertations, mapped out career [00:12:00] changes, and built sustainable systems, and most importantly, they've also felt seen and supported throughout the process.

All of my coaching packages include access to a resource library, voice memo, support, and guidance in between sessions, so you're never on your own. If you're ready to invest in yourself, visit grad school Femtoring dot com slash coaching to learn more and book a free consultation. I'd love to support you in making aligned, confident moves in your academic and professional life.

So once you're clear on your values and your capacity, I want you to then think about, okay, let's introduce a layered approach to my goal setting so that you can zoom in and out as needed based on what's coming up in your life. What doesn't a layered approach look like?

That means thinking about your goals annually, quarterly, monthly and [00:13:00] weekly. And yes, in the beginning it can feel like a lot of work so that, because you're having to do the annual goals. And then from there, break it down to quarterly goals, and from there, break it down to your monthly, and then if need be, break it down to your weekly goals.

But it is worthwhile. Why? Because the way that we think, the way that we process information, some of us are top down thinkers and some of us are bottom up thinkers. So some folks are really good at seeing the big picture, but they're not very good at taking a look at the minor details so they have a clear sense of what their goals are, but they struggle with breaking down those goals into the little things they need to do every week to get there. And then on the other end of things, for those of us that are bottom up thinkers, we're very good with the details, but we struggle to see the big picture. And so with a layered approach, no matter how you think and process information, you can remind [00:14:00] yourself of both at the same time.

So you can remind yourself, what is the big picture I'm working toward? And then what are the details that I need to be reminded of to get it done day to day? So start with the big vision. What is your vision for the year? And this is where I think a lot of us will do this. If you attend a vision board workshop or if you create your own vision board, or if you set your intentions for the year, this is where you do your big picture visioning.

Some people will work on a vision statement, which is kind of nice, and um, it can feel very inspiring to work on a vision statement, even if it feels really lofty. But then not everybody will sit down to break things into your quarterly focus areas. And this is where I'm actually really grateful that I did all of my schooling in a quarter system. even when I was in K through 12 in a public school in the Los Angeles Unified School [00:15:00] District in LAUSD, we were tracked. And because we were tracked, we went to school within quarters. And then when I went to college and grad school, I was always in a quarter system.

Then when I worked full time, every single job that I had. As a full-time employee in a nine to five, we were in quarter systems, so it just became ingrained in me to plan quarterly. So now as an entrepreneur, I also plan quarterly, but I find that it's helpful for students and for professionals to plan quarterly as well.

Because if one quarter doesn't go as well, you can always shift the focus in the next quarter to help you to do what you need to do to get closer to reaching your goal. So having these quarterly focus areas and acknowledging the change in seasons too, because you can expect yourself to go, go, go and work at the same pace every single quarter.

When the seasons are literally changing and your [00:16:00] body and its reaction to the seasons is also changing as a result of it. So think about your quarterly focus areas based on the seasons, based on the type of quarter it is or semester it is, and based on what you might be juggling in your personal life during that season in your life.

So for example, for me, the end of Q3, going into the start of Q4. It is so messy. Why? Because, well, let's see. Uh, Q4 is October, November, December, so the end of Q3 is September, and that's when the start of the semester hits. The start of the quarter hits, that's when I have a lot of grad admissions clients.

That's when I have a lot of grad admissions workshops. That's when my birthday comes up. My partner's birthday comes up, my kids' birthday come up in October, and then you have the holidays celebrating Halloween and taking time off in November, taking time off in December for the December holidays.

So it's. [00:17:00] It's a lot. It's a lot. And that means that when I break down my big picture goals, I cannot expect to produce and do the same level of work in the end of Q3 and the start of Q4, and even really most of Q4 to be frank. During that start of the winter season, things slow down a lot. So I have to acknowledge that and you can then start to narrow this further into your monthly priorities.

And um, a lot of my clients actually, when they work with me, we will, not everybody, 'cause it's obviously, it's, it's optional. I don't take a prescriptive approach to the way that I work with them. So depending on their needs, I may offer some suggestions and sometimes I'll suggest them working on a dissertation timeline.

And that dissertation timeline is usually monthly, and the monthly timeline is detailed enough that they can then translate that into the weekly goals. [00:18:00] So again, you can. Think big picture annual. Then go into your quarterly focus areas. So the big picture is a vision. The quarterly is like what are your focus areas?

Then monthly you're thinking about priorities, and then weekly you're thinking about the tasks that align with those priorities, focus areas, and the greater vision. So this is the layered approach. I actually have a notion dashboard that I created that I've been using personally this year, and it's been so cool to use that.

I was like, why am I sitting with this and not sharing it with others? That's silly. I love sharing resources. So I started sharing it, with a few of my clients. Everybody that works with me has access to a resource library, so it's in their resource library. Some folks, we've actually brought it up in our session and I even have one client.

As we speak, who's filling it out and is gonna let me know how it went, perhaps even show it to me next time we meet. So, [00:19:00] yeah, I have this, this, notion dashboard and I also turned it into a Google Doc for folks that don't use Notion. And I'm gonna be sharing this resource with everyone that signs up for my workshop.

So just FYI, if you want to see the accompanied resource that is all about following this layered approach to goal setting. Check out the workshop, and if you're listening to this afterward, so this is for my folks listening in August, 2025, right? You can sign up for the workshop. It's at the end of the month.

If you're listening later than that, I am gonna record the workshop. So you'll actually be able to access the recording and still access the resource. So, FYI tune in to hear more about that. So. I mentioned again, why goal setting often fails us in our communities. I also mentioned we have to rethink goal setting through our own values and our own capacity, not just what other people expect and want from us.

And then I [00:20:00] went into introducing this layered approach. So I want you to think about your goal setting, not just as reactionary, where you're just waiting for things to show up in your inbox and just doing things as they come and trying your best to follow other people's deadlines and instead you want to be more proactive about it and be more intentional, and you can do that when you work on your annual vision, quarterly focus, focus areas, monthly priorities, and then your weekly tasks. So let me then now talk about what's something you can do right now to help you apply what I've been sharing with you right now. One is identify one value, like the one that stands out to you most. Whatever it is that you feel that you need most right now in terms of a value.

And then choose one small goal that reflects that value [00:21:00] and then break that down into two to three tiny actions. 'cause we're trying to layer it, right? So that way it's from big to small. So this value to a goal, to these like tiny, tiny baby actions. Let me give you an example. Let's say you are, it's the start of the semester and you're like, how am I gonna get started with the semester if I feel like I need rest before even starting?

So maybe your value is rest. Then your small goal could be, yeah, I have to get back to a a, a good and stable consistent sleep routine. Like my sleep has been erratic and I want to get back to a more consistent routine to help me so that I feel more rested as I go into the start of the semester. So then what are those baby steps that are gonna help you?

Do you set a phone alarm to remind you that it's bedtime? I know my phone will tell me. [00:22:00] Usually when it's time for me to get ready to shut down, uh, it tells me about an hour before my bedtime, so I have it set up that way. Uh, so do you need a phone reminder or do you need to put your phone away or do you need to have like a set time that you know you're gonna start to get ready for bed and decompress?

So what are the baby steps that you need to take to help you to make that goal a reality and as as easy as possible. Because even and as realistic as possible too, even me telling you, put your phone away, you might already be rolling your eyes and thinking, there's no way I'm putting my phone away. So if that's not realistic for you, what is? For me that reminder is especially helpful and knowing when I need to start my bedtime routine and get ready for bed is also helpful, but whatever that is for you do that. Maybe that means changing your lighting or maybe that [00:23:00] means doing some journaling before bed, or maybe that means having an earlier dinner, whatever that is for you.

Think about the value first, then the goal, so rest is the value. Improving your sleep routine is the goal. And then the baby steps are whatever the things that work for you, the lighting, the reminder, the journaling, you name it. So that is it for today. If you listen up to this point, I'm excited to tell you more about my upcoming workshop.

It's called sustainable goal, setting a process first approach to semester success. And there's a reason why I say it's a process first approach. I'm gonna be sharing a nugget. That's a concept and a way to frame your goal setting that can help you to rethink you goal set in a way that [00:24:00] prioritizes your wellbeing, your joy, your capacity.

So that's happening. When is it happening? It's happening on August 28th at 3:00 PM Pacific Time. That's 5:00 PM Central Time. That's 6:00 PM Eastern Time. I'm gonna put a link in the show notes. So that you can sign up and because you're a loyal listener, you listened up to this point, I'm not even gonna share about it.

I'm not sharing this code publicly. Y'all are the only ones getting this code. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna offer an early bird discount. I'm thinking, but other than that, y'all are my loyal listener. So you're getting a better deal than even the early bird people. So you can use code.

FEMTORING20 for 20% off the workshop, and I know I have a deadline, so make sure that you use this code by August 22nd [00:25:00] at midnight. It will no longer work after August 22nd at midnight. So sign up by then. I'm super excited to meet some of y'all to hear more about you and your goals and so we can do this planning together.

That's it for today. I hope you all enjoyed it, and as always, I'll talk to you all next time.

​thanks so much for listening. If you liked what you heard, here are three ways you can support the show. The first is to make sure you're subscribed and leave a review on Apple Podcasts. The second way is to get your copy of my free resource kit linked in my show notes. This kit includes tools, playlists on all things grad school, productivity, and personal development.

The third way to support my show is to follow me on social media. You can find me on Instagram with the handle at [00:26:00] gradschoolfemtoring and on LinkedIn by searching my name. Thanks again for listening. And until next time.