100: Building Community and Working Collectively with Chicana M(other)work

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

Yay, we're recording. I am excited. This is episode 100 of the Grad School Femtoring podcast. And of course, I had to do something special. For me, what could be more special than to bring the mujeres who essentially are the reason why this podcast is even here to begin with, to bring them on- the mujeres of the Chicana Mother Work Collective - to talk a little bit more about what it means to build community and work as a collective, since we've been doing this for the past seven plus years now. Typically, what I do in the podcast is I read people's bios, but since there are four of us here today, I figured we could have each one of us introduce ourselves. I'll go ahead and kind of popcorn it, have each of us introduce ourselves, and then we can kind of get into having this platica on building community and working collectively. We'll get started with Cecilia.

Cecilia Caballero

Hi, everyone. I'm so happy to be on here Yvette. Congratulations on all that you've done with the Grad School Femtoring. It's just been great to see you and support you on this path. For me, my name is Cecilia. I use she/her pronouns. I live on Tongva land in Boyle Heights. But I'm originally born and raised in Northern California. I'm a creative writer, speaker and facilitator, and I work mostly around BIPOC literature and poetry. It's what I love doing. And I'm working on some books right now of creative nonfiction and poetry. So that's me.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

Who do you want to popcorn it to?

Cecilia Caballero

Judy?

Judith Perez

Hi, everyone. Thank you so much, Yvette, for having us. It's an honor to be here. And I feel so fancy even you sharing the background with us. So thank you. My name is Judith Perez, and my pronouns is she/her/ella. I have my three kids. It's Luna, she's 10. Tino is eight, and Joaquin has just turned six. They share the same birthdays as Emi, so we have that, kinda the same birthdays. I am currently or I've been adjuncting for almost five years at Cal State Fullerton. I work under three departments, which is the Chicano Studies Department, University 100- the Office of University 100, or, office the First Year Experience, and the educational leadership department as well. That's what I'm been doing. Thank you. Then I'll popcorn it to Christine.

Christine Vega

Buenos dias. It's really good to see everyone and shout out to Michelle, who couldn't make it today. But este, my name is Christine Vega. I am a assistant professor of Chicana/Chicano Studies at San Jose State. Yes, thanks friends. And that's been a journey in itself, right? I reside in West San Jose, and my son is about to turn eight. I'm really excited. I've been really nostalgic about that. But maybe we'll get to that point, talking about our children. And I have the honor and privilege of being surrounded by amazing, amazing students of color and and allies and accomplices here at San Jose. And here supporting my partner, who's also again- for the fifth year, I think- on the market. It's really good to be here. I'm really excited to talk about community with all of you and be in community with all of us. Then now we pass it back to you Yvette.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

I don't know if I need to- do I need to introduce myself? I am Yvette. Those of y'all that listen to me every week, you know. I know I go by Yvette, Dr. Yvette, Dra. Yvette. I am the podcast host. Now I call myself academic coach and mentor and the founder of Grad School Femtoring LLC, which feels like a big deal to me because this week I got a binder in the mail that has a seal that says Grad School Femtoring, some official documents about how it's a company, how I can give shares. Although I'm laughing, because I'm like, I'm not making that much money. Pero eventually, if y'all want a share. Any angel investors out there, hit me up.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

But yeah, when I introduce myself, I always feel like saying Chicana mother scholar, mom of two. My son just turned eight too, so we've got our Scorpio babies. And my daughter recently turned one. It's funny because she's right on the cusp between Libra and Scorpio. It wasn't untill her birthday that I realized she's actually a Scorpio. So I'm thinking she's a Libra all year. Now I'm like, it makes way more sense. Anyway, I'm getting distracted. My bad. This is what happens when I'm with my friends. I get really distracted. and then I start to laugh really loud. Hopefully you can lower your volume buttons when I'm laughing.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

So building community. I know one way we usually get started by talking about us is by kind of sharing our story. I want to say our birth story, but sharing our story of how we came together. I'm happy to have one of y'all share in that story because I don't always remember. If one of y'all can remind me of how we got to remember. I can remember, but not all the details.

Christine Vega

I like how Ceci tells the story. Can I nominate?

Judith Perez

I like it too. Go Ceci.

Cecilia Caballero

Well, Yvette doesn't remember when we first met, but we were undergrads. We were at a conference for the Mellon Mays undergraduate fellowship. Yvette was at UCLA. I was at UC Berkeley, and it was the annual regional conference. So where- it was Stanford?

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

Yeah, it was Stanford.

Cecilia Caballero

Okay. And I was actually pregnant at the time. I remember going to target and buying this huge baggy shirt. I'm just like, no one's gonna know. And I also became friends later with Ester Trujillo, who was also on the podcast. Later, she was just like, girl, I knew right away. I'm like, oh shit, I guess- oh, sorry.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

You can cuss. This is an explicit podcast.

Cecilia Caballero

I just thought I was camouflaging myself. But no, Ester- you know, Ester, she's just like, no, I noticed. She notices everything. But even going to that conference pregnant- it was my first professional academic conference. I think it was my first time presenting a paper. So that's kind of the purpose of the Mellon Mays undergraduate fellowship, where they want to increase diversity in the professoriate, you know all these things. And I remember, when I went that I felt not as supportive because I was getting conflicting kind of comments and messages from different people at my university.

Cecilia Caballero

I even doubted myself. Even I thought I would drop out and not complete college, because I internalized those messages or those doubts. So I was kind of in that mindset when I went to the conference, which is where I first met Yvette- which she doesn't remember. Later, when I moved to LA, which is where Yvette was when I started my PhD program. No, I think we were already in communication, because we were thinking of what to do for ASA, the American Studies Association annual conference. We wanted to submit a conference panel, and we were just kind of thinking- well, what should we submit for this panel. Then kind of one by one, that became Chicana Mother Work. The panel became Chicana Mother Work later. It was Michelle, Christine and Judy, and me and Yvette. And I think we reached out to Michelle, who - we had read her article that had just come out at that time about. What's the title? I feel like you do remember the title.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

I always do. Some shit I don't remember and some stuff I remember verbatim. Michelle doesn't even remember her title. But Michelle, if you're listening, your article inspired this whole movement. It's Lectures, Evaluations and Diapers: Navigating the Terrains of Chicana Single Motherhood in Academia. I think, something like that.

Cecilia Caballero

Yeah. And it was so great, because I had not read anything that described my exact positionality of being a single mom in academia. and living away from family. She also used personal narratives and testimonio in her article, so I was so inspired. And she said yes to joining our panel. Then I think Yvette reached out to Christine, and then Christine reached out to Judy. Since then, we all [word] start working together. But I do know, Christine, that you also have a story about how you met Yvette right before that panel.

Judith Perez

I love that story.

Christine Vega

I think we have to write about this- how we met- especially honoring seven years. That's a long time. That's longer than some relationships.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

Oh yeah.

Christine Vega

And we always think about that right? When folks ask me if I believe in soulmates and I say I do, but I have multiple soulmates in multiple relationships with people. And yes, I have a partner and I love him very, very much. He's the love of my life. But so are you all, and so are another group of mujeres and another group of people. I have little pockets of little love affairs, I think. Again, they're platonic, but they're like- I don't know. That to me is soul work. Anyway, I'm getting off the rails here. But I was pregnant my first year of PhD. I think the quarter had ended and I found out I was pregnant. I was working on the, ya ni me acuerdo, is it the South Campus or North Campus, Yvette?

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

South campus.

Christine Vega

South campus, okay. UCLA is massive. South Campus is where a lot of the stem and life science and hard sciences all live. I was working for an organization there, and I was kind of feeling my body, my belly shifting, was really big. My body was shifting. I had a lot of backache. And I don't know. We talk about earrings- I know it's kind of hard to see our earrings. But for me, I think earrings are really a part of our identity. I was waiting for my food and I see Yvette. I don't know Yvette. I see this Chicana, random Chicana in the South Campus area of campus waiting. She's wearing these beautiful beaded earrings. I think her coat was red also, I can't remember.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

I had a red- como se llamma- a little

Christine Vega

Your bag, yeah.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

A little rolly bag. It's like a backpack that rolls on the ground. And you complimented me. I remember distinctly. You were like, that's a cute bag, cute earrings. Like where did you get that bag?

Christine Vega

I was really embarrassed to go up to you because I'm like- everyone's like, my students and my friends were like- Christine, you shouldn't carry a backpack anymore. You're in too much pain and I was getting waddle-ly. So then I'm like, oh, I should go up to her. I'm like, no it's embarrassing. Then I'm like, but she's wearing beaded earrings so maybe she'll be nice. I decided to go up to her and I complimented her on her bag. I'm like, hey, I like your bag. Where'd you get it? I think you said- was it overstock?

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

Oh my gosh, yes.

Christine Vega

We're not being endorsed by any of these companies, but...

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

I'm just surprised that y'all remember so many details.

Christine Vega

But if overstock wants to endorse. Now because I'm old, I don't want to carry a backpack to campus anyway. So she's like, oh, yeah, I got it an overstock. It's this beautiful rolly bag. I'm like, yeah it's because I'm pregnant. So I show her my panza. Then she gets up, she goes, I'm pregnant too. She shows me her belly. I'm like, what? Wow, it's just a divine coincidence- not coincidence, just divine intervention. It ends up being that Yvette and I are from the same community in the Northeast San Fernando Valley. We went to the same high school. She was - you were teaching TSP.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

Yeah.

Christine Vega

So you had my student Gio, who's from Pacoima.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

Aw yeah.

Christine Vega

Shout out to Gio and Junior, my first mentees. I was like- that was it. I would see Yvette on the bus. She's like, hey, come sit next to me- because then we ended up living on the same side of family housing at UCLA. It was crazy. Then Emi was due around the same time as Janitzio.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

A week apart, yeah.

Christine Vega

Wow, wow. But yeah, that's how we met.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

Yeah. Now we gotta hear how y'all- you and Judy met too, porque tambien ay mas.

Cecilia Caballero

Your story is all divine, meeting Yvette. And Yvette's just like I don't remember Ceci.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

I distinctly remember meeting up with you at every single Mellon conference Ceci. Just not the first one.

Judith Perez

Ceci had a BFF, Yvette and me friendship bracelet. Yvette no se acuerda.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

She's like, you remember Christine and not me?

Christine Vega

See how Yvette made me tell the story, how I told the story?

Judith Perez

Porque no sabe if she's going to remember. She wasn't sure. She's like hold on.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

I don't know if I remember correctly. Let's just have them say it.

Cecilia Caballero

I also appreciate that extroverts just adopt introverts. So thank you, Christine, because me and Yvette are also- and Judy. We're just kind of chill.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

I feel like Judy is an ambivert.

Judith Perez

Yeah.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

So como se conocieron ustedes, Judy and Christine.

Christine Vega

A ver, Judy, your turn.

Judith Perez

It started I guess in Utah, right? It was a - I remember, ECS would always bring in in students that were interested in doing the master's program. And I wasn't in ECS. I was in ELP, but we were always down to host the parties to invite all the students there. So that's how I met her. They were like hey, there's some new students. I was like, bring them to our house - to my house. And that's how I first met you, right Christine? We met there, but we didn't have kids. I didn't have kids. So it was fun. That was the fun side of us in grad school. But then I got pregnant with Luna. She's older than both of your kids.

Judith Perez

I moved back home to LA, so that I can get help from my parents. You all stayed in Utah. I remember you stayed in Utah, because you were doing your masters. And by that time, I was doing my PhD. I moved back out here- that was already my third year. But when I found out - I guess you went to UCLA, right? For your PhD. When I found out on Facebook, I think it was, that you were pregnant. I was like, she's out here in LA, she's pregnant. So she can be my friend- because I was really struggling with finding a place to study, finding people that were in the same space as me, in a PhD and moms as well. So I was eager to just try to follow herm follow where you're at. I would even tell my mom, can you take care of my kid?

Judith Perez

Then I was all trying to hit you up like, oh, what are you having? Are having a boy or girl? And by that time, I got pregnant again. But that time it was a boy. I was like- I have baby boy clothes. Can I drop it off to you? That was my way to even reach out to you. I was just so in need of compania. So that's I reached out to her. But it was really hard for us to coordinate a time. I remember having my big bags of baby boy clothes in the back of my trunk just trying to go over there. And UCLA is far from where my mom lived. But I was like, I want to do it- because I was so desperate to find that companionship. It didn't happen.

Judith Perez

But that's when you called me. You're like, hey, I'm sorry, we can't connect. But there's a group of mujeres that are also moms that want to present on our work. Would you be interested? I'm like, what? What do you mean? I didn't understand it. I hadn't read the article. I hadn't met Yvette or Ceci or Michelle. No la conoci a nadie. I had never heard of anything like that. I was just like, yeah I'm down. Whatever it is, I'm for it. No clue. And I think that ASA conference was the first time we were gonna meet in person. I remember being so nervous for us to do it. This was before zoom, right? I think we did it through Google Hangouts, where we first met.

Judith Perez

I was so nervous to meet you all, because I was like damn. They're chingonas. They're all from these top schools and here I am with my baby. So I was really intimidated. But when I saw you all you all were so nice, so sweet. So I felt like I already knew you just through that video. I remember seeing Ceci she was- I don't know if you remember this Ceci. Now it's payback. Let me see if you remeber this. But you were on the computer at the conference, at the hotel. And I just remembered you because of that video chat that we had, with your beautiful curly hair. And I was like, hey Ceci. You were like hi, kind of like the introvert. I'm over here- I am, too. But I get excited once I feel like I meet people. I was so excited to meet you. We just bonded so immediately, and it was really beautiful. So that's my little story from what I remember.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

I don't even know how to describe that, that feeling of that time that we got together, that first time and we had our babies there. How many people in the audience?

Judith Perez

It was all our partners and our kids and that was it.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

And a couple of friends. Ester was there.

Judith Perez

Two, three friends. And we were so nervous, right? We were so nervous. Who's gonna show up? And are they gonna kick us out because of our kids? That was I was worried about too.

Christine Vega

Weren't you pregnant with the third baby at that point again, Judy? You didn't want to tell us and I think you told us that day?

Judith Perez

I was at another conference with my third one. That was me right there. I'm feeling Ceci with the shirt. I'm like, should I hide it? They're gonna be like, oh my god. Third kid already, yea? I was like, they're gonna kick me out already. That was at San Francisco. I remember that one in San Francisco. That wasn't.

Cecilia Caballero

Oh, so I like your story. I'm like, I've never partied with Judy and Christine.

Judith Perez

We were fun before kids.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

We still are fun. What you talking about?

Judith Perez

Yes, we are fun. We just can't hang.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

After 9pm.

Cecilia Caballero

I just remember when we would go travel- later, we would travel to conferences, and just stay up talking all night, and laughing.

Christine Vega

And cuddling.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

Cuddling- or wanting to cuddle, and some of us like- um.

Christine Vega

My trepidation.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

So it's been seven years, y'all. That was seven years ago. So much has happened in seven years. And how is it that we have not gotten fed up of each other, or moved on to other things, or formed - well, some of us have formed other collectives. How is it that we're still here? I feel like if I were an outsider trying to look in, I would be curious, like how do they do it? How do they get together? What do they do? How do they work together? What have they learned in seven years?

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

So I'd love to hear that from your perspectives, because I know from my perspective, y'all have taught me a lot of lessons. You've taught me how to be patient with being type A, wanting to get shit done. Learning that it's okay to do things more slowly and intentionally. I've learned that through you all. I've learned about the power of dreaming, and dreaming collectively, not just dreaming alone. Some of the things that we've done have all started as planting a seed and a dream. And it seemed like this big thing, then somehow we got it done. And I feel like that right now about our future projects. But yeah, I would love to hear from you all about that, about what has been like. What have y'all learned?

Christine Vega

I can start. I think for the last seven years, and probably even longer, because it wasn't until ASA - that was 2014. But even before that, right? I don't know. It just felt like a sisterhood right away. We all have our different personalities and our strengths in areas that we can grow from. But I think what's really important about this collective is that we all tap into our strengths, and we help each other grow in that way. I think that's what makes it really powerful. And we can't romanticize that there isn't any tensions, because there are. But those tensions can then be resolved. I don't know maybe it's the fact that we're parents that we've learned the skill set to - something I learned from Ceci was the rupture and the repair. When I was having - and I still have a hard time with Janitzio here and there. There's always learning with our children. And I remember when I would call Ceci in my most hard moments with Janitzio, I was reminded of the rupture and repair. I think that's something that we try to practice - not necessarily naming that. But if there's tensions or whatever, we can talk about, cry about it, get mad at each other about it and work through it and move on. I think that's just- it's like five of us. It's a lot. I still laugh at- I don't know if maybe it was you and me fighting, Yvette, and then Michelle yelled at us.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

Yeah it was. Why is it always us Christine?

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

I don't know, maybe my Aries, my Aries fire. I don't know, your Virgo everything.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

It's that Aries. Seriously, I've struggled with Aries folks. Sorry if my listeners who are Aries- I love you but sometimes there's tension.

Christine Vega

I boil up. I'm a cancer. I'm sensitive, but I boil up from zero to a thousand really fast, you know? I just remember that time, and just Michelle yelling at us. We were like oh shit big sister status like alright.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

Yeah.

Christine Vega

Then Judy turning around.

Cecilia Caballero

What did Michelle say?

Christine Vega

Ya callase! This shit is hilarious.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

Michelle is the seasoned one of the group.

Christine Vega

But it's real, right? These tensions are real.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

Yeah.

Christine Vega

And they're important, right? They're so important. But we keep each other- I think that's how we keep each other balanced.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

Yeah.

Christine Vega

Honestly, when we get together it's really- I really missed that so much. COVID has changed that for us. And it's exhausting, because we do a lot of work, but it's really, I miss being in community with you all. I can stop there.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

I was gonna say to the thing about COVID is that because we've been in different places at different times for so many years, we were already using zoom way before the rest of the world were. I appreciate all the things that I've learned even down to the skill sets that we've taught each other from kind of having to learn how to navigate five different people working together. Did I see Judy? I think you were gonna say something.

Judith Perez

Yeah, I think I was just saying like that. I remember that argument with you all. That's when I was like, these are my Sisters. These are so my sisters. I felt the love because I grew up with- it was four of us, sisters. So I think for me, this community, it was a different community from my sisters. My sisters, it was growing up with our parents. The way we grew up with different. But they didn't understand me because none of them went to college. None of them went to grad school and continued their education. So they didn't understand a lot of the experiences that I was having, especially as a mom. They could help me with supporting me with the kids, but they couldn't really help me with balancing life and all the family problems and all that.

Judith Perez

I think I seek you all to know- how are you doing it. You are also first generation. You also understood what it was like to go to undergrad, grad school and the professors, all of these things. That was my family and my community where I felt like I needed this. And the reunions that we have, the retreats that we have was my way to release all the stress that I wasn't able to- or just the different things that were going on with me as a mother,as a grad student as well, right? Those are a lot of things that our family members or my siblings wouldn't understand, wouldn't be able to understand. So that was super helpful for me, because it's like, okay, we talk about grad school. We talk about mothering. But we also have disagreements and that's what - that was the part that was missing with us before, because we didn't have any disagreements until then.

Judith Perez

I was like, yes, that's what we needed. We needed to have that because it made us stronger. I remember that, feeling like it hurts when we are argue. To me, it's like I've always been the the one just staring at my sisters when they start arguing. And I'm just like listening. I'm just quiet, and I always share my thoughts right afterwards. I felt the same way with you. I was just listening and quiet. I'm like, oh- until our big sister came and la regaño. And I was like, okay yeah. This is it. This is family. This is what we're doing, and it's awesome. Yeah.

Cecilia Caballero

Yeah, I think for me, just at the beginning, when I first started my PhD program, just feeling really isolated. But I'm glad now in 2021, or almost 2022, that things are so much different now. I think that's another reason why social media can be used for good in the sense that I see so many things online of people posting about being parents, or having other responsibilities, and trying to help each other get through college and grad school and their goals. Because when we started, there was none of that really. And in my program, I think there was at the time one other person who was a parent, but then he was- I think it's just different when they're fathers, when they're men.

Cecilia Caballero

So I didn't really connect with him. Then later, one of my friends had two children during the Ph.D program- a woman of color- so I felt more support that way. But otherwise, it's just like, I couldn't afford a babysitter. I had to figure out how to get to my seminars, and just there wasn't support for childcare costs. At least my undergrad institution did have more of those supports and services. For me, it was when I found out that Yvette was pregnant- I don't remember how we started keeping in touch again. I think when I moved to LA, and then by the point that we came to ASA and just trying to organize that panel. But I think for me that was helpful.

Cecilia Caballero

Then looking back on it, just looking at undergrad- so how I said earlier, I was trying to find a shirt where it's just- I kind of wanted to hide my pregnancy. Especially as an undergrad, where not as many - actually there are. According to the data, there actually are a lot of undergrads who are parents. But it doesn't feel that way, or I just, I felt like I was the only one. Looking back on it, it's just like- why was I, why did I internalize that, that I had to hide it? Because I had these doubts, and things that are still hard for parents and mothers in academia. But I'm glad that we've been able to work together, and to just kind of bring more visibility to everything that we do. That's what's been important to me.

Cecilia Caballero

Then also, I think the other thing that helps with working together for so long is that we're a collective, meaning that we're not based in any one institution. We don't get funding from, a certain grant. We're not a nonprofit. And I think that really helps because we just do what we want. We have different projects, just having meetings, checking in with each other. I think that's kind of- it does require time and attention in a different way than what we're taught in academia as quote, unquote service or whatever- or for some kind of goal towards tenure or something. But there's many ways to work together and exist. So I'm glad that Chicana Motherwork is one possibility out of many.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

And I feel like our work is infinite, you know? There is no one designated angle or end date, and I love that about it. It's like that sense of- for me, it provides me with the comfort and security that I usually kind of am looking for in other spaces, but that I should know that I have within myself too. But the collective, I think, has helped with empowering me as a person, because we've validated each other so much. We've talked about how we give each other micro affirmations that counter all the microaggressions, macroaggressions, all the shit that we deal with in academic spaces.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

And then we create our own counter spaces, our own spaces of resistance, and even if it's just this- us meeting over zoom, having this platica. It's like, I know I'm gonna feel better. Every time we've had a conversation, no matter how difficult it's been, I have always felt better. I think that's powerful. And to know that I have that, and that I have that infinitely, it's like so much abundance. I feel like I'm so grateful to you all. And seriously, y'all are the reason I started the podcast. I was researching different podcasting options for Chicana Motherwork, like what would be- to try different things out. And I was just joking around, messing with my phone and created Grad School Femtoring without even thinking about it. And then it became a thing. So thank you, mujeres, for everything.

Judith Perez

I was just thinking- sorry, Christina, you were going to say something. Okay. I listen to Pacifica radio 90.7 - do you all hear it, listen to it? It was a somebody- they were interviewing a person. I can't remember, and I was trying to research the person to give them credit. But I remember one of the things when I think of our collective, what it's done for me is it's really allowed me to express my thoughts, how I feel about certain things. And for many of you, I know even just what you imagined doing, what you're hoping to do- that's our collective, we share our dreams- literally- and also our dreams just in our thoughts. And she was talking- the person that was being interviewed- she was talking about how we're so trained- and Ceci talked about it too- how we internalize what it means to walk around at a conference pregnant. I think we were so trained to police our behaviors, our attitudes, our language, how we look. Right? So we knew very much how to do that.

Judith Perez

And this collective has allowed us to be free and be who we are and talk the way we have. We don't have to be professional. We don't have to look a certain way. It's actually, we embrace our looks right? Our greñas or not greñas. But I think one of the things that really stood out for me, that that particular interviewee said about how- through the book that they had written- is how they're no longer feeling like they're policing their possibilities. And I think this is what this collective does for me, where our possibilities are endless. We always share our dreams, what we imagine. We share them together individually, and we support each other on them, and collectively as well. And that was like, yes. That's what this collective does for me.

Judith Perez

It really allows us to dream together, dream and support each other on our individual dreams like Grad School Femtoring. All of that. It's really powerful, and I love that- that we don't have to police a we are within ourselves. We're our whole self- when we're struggling with our kids, when we're struggling with our parejas as well, with our family members. We talk about all these different things, and that's powerful for me, because I never feel judged by you all. That's something that's really hard, right? With my family- I love my family, but the way I raise my kids they might not agree with. And sometimes I question myself, and so I come to you all, like hey. How are you doing it? How do you do it with this? How do you do it with that? It really beautiful to have that support with you all where we provide feedback to each other as well. That's what it has meant for me.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

We got about ten more minutes left. I'm just curious if there's any final thoughts or things that have come to mind you want to share with folks that maybe are trying to find a space for themselves or trying to find like minded individuals, trying to build community wherever they are.

Christine Vega

I think for me, because I'm again, in a new city, in a new community. I think I'm just exhausted, right of the moving and the trying to set roots and then knowing that things could be temporary. I think I'm just trekking slower. And I think for now, what I'm trying to do is kind of like listening to the vibration of the spaces I'm in. I'm one of the only tenure track faculty that's currently present on campus in my department, so I'm not necessarily like - como les digo? I think for me, the community right now are my students. Then listening to what they need, because I was very intentional about where I wanted to land and I'm really happy I ended up being here. Academia has so many challenges. We can't romanticize it. So what I think- for me, building community- as we're wrapping up - right now, it's being present for my students to see what it is, how I can be supportive to them.

Christine Vega

Honestly, they need a lot of support right now, like a lot- and particularly my female students who are in STEM. They need so much support, because a lot of them are transfer students and are getting- I don't think they have the emotional support to continue. We already know the statistics of women of color, men of color, folk of color in STEM is really small. I think for now, that's how I'm building my community, through them. And hoping that I can co-construct little pockets of counter spaces for them. Sometimes, even though if I want to try to do that, it's just to kind of listen to them and check in on them. Something so simple can go a long way, and I hope it does. Even though I'm their professor for this particular course, it doesn't mean I'm not available to just be there for any other kind of support or resources that I can give them- which is why I think your podcast and your work is so critical. Because I point a lot of my students towards your podcast, especially my master's students. I'm like, this is a wealth of knowledge. Take advantage of it. But that's how I'm seeing community building right now.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

Just as a quick side note, I legit wrote my first blog post thinking about one of your students and sent it to that student.

Cecilia Caballero

Yeah. I think - just thinking about Christine, what you shared about working with your students, and then also related to why - partly why- you started this podcast Yvette, or this business, Grad School Femtoring. I think it's so important because a lot of the times, it's not like the institution gives us these spaces or collectives. It's like we do have to seek it out on our own. And it kind of can feel overwhelming. But I think part of it for me can be seeking people that you think you might connect with, whether you're a student connecting with a professor, or grad students or professors with each other. Kind of like we did when we started Chicana Motherwork. I think that's so important.

Cecilia Caballero

But I think part of it, for me, is just even reaching out to people, or just saying that you need help or support can feel really vulnerable. And I know it was like that for me. Also just being an introvert, just even more so, right? But I think just saying that you need help or support- I think it's important to ask for that, because a whole lot of other people probably need the same things too. Then if you can work together, it makes it that much better, because you're not alone and isolated. So I think about that a lot. And even just looking back on what I experienced, things that I needed and didn't have in undergrad and grad school. I want to help try to give those things now in the ways that I can- which right now, mostly has to do with my creative writing. But there's different ways that we can do it.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

I'm gonna ask y'all- unless, I think Judy, you were gonna say something. But I was gonna ask y'all one more question, last question. If folks resonated with y'all and would like to be in touch, what's the best way to reach you? And we can also give them the Chicana Motherwork handles too. That works, too. So how can folks reach you?

Cecilia Caballero

The best way for me is on Twitter. I mostly post writing related stuff. @la_sangre_llama, with underscores between the words. Then on Instagram Bookworm_Por_Vida, also with underscores. I just share what I'm reading, what I'm doing, what I'm applying to - more so in creative writing and publishing. But I am there, so that's where you'll find me.

Christine Vega

Also, Cecilia's Mothering While Brown publication, I think it got like 60,000 views or downloads from our website. I think from the statistics. So you can also find her readings there. Just saying, it's an amazing read. I could be reached through the Chicana Motherwork email, just to kind of keep the separation between work emails, because I get saturated at work. My emails will drown out in my work emails. So Chicana Motherwork is the best way to reach me if anyone wants to reach out.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

That's Chicana Motherwork@gmail.com. No spaces, underscores or anything in between. What about you Judy? What's the best way to reach you?

Judith Perez

Tambien Chicana Motherwork gmail works out, por que sometimes I'm burned out from my Fullerton one. I don't check it. I'm like, no, I don't want to check it. So if you want to reach me, and it's a good one. I like getting those emails, where it's like I relate to you. I'm going through what you're going through. Those are a lot better than my Fullerton ones. I love Fullerton and my students. I love my students, but that would be the best way. But I think I was gonna say - thank you so much, Yvette, because Grad School Femtoring really reminds me of how it's- what we didn't have, you're providing it for everyone, free and accessible. I always think of- I keep thinking when I teach, be the professor you wish you had. That's what your podcast does, is be the Grad School Femtoring that you wish you had. That's exactly what you do, and this is why you have so many listeners listening. So thank you so much.

Judith Perez

Thank you everyone.

Judith Perez

Thank you for having us too.

Christine Vega

Congratulations, 100th episode.

Dra. Yvette Martinez-Vu

Yay, 100. Keeping it 100. Oh my gosh, I really had to say that.